SO, THIS IS EMBARRASSING! WHAT HAS YOUR DOG EATEN?

We celebrated 21 years of marriage over the weekend. During dinner, we discussed some of the crazy things that have happened over the years. One of the stories that came to mind was the time our dog, Darby, ate a $100 bill that was lying on the kitchen table.

Yes, I said ATE it.

Lets be frank, $100 is a lot of money. And when you’re first married, it’s REALLY a lot of money. We don’t just go throwing hundos around like they don’t matter, so when I discovered that our beloved black lab, who has since passed, swallowed our money, I did what any newlywed on a tight budget would do…

I waited for it to reappear. And by reappear, I mean, on our lawn. Delivered BY OUR DOG.

Let me paint the picture. It was a warm, sunny day in August, the kind where your shorts stick to your inner thighs, and there I sat in my driveway with the ‘specimen’ from my dog and two twigs I grabbed from the backyard. I could see the long-anticipated money, a green paper that was NOT in tact, though I had been informed by my bank that it could still be used if the serial number was still legible.

It was on like Donkey Kong! I was DETERMINED to recover our money. I’m slightly stubborn when it comes to figuring things out, and do not like taking no for an answer. It’s sort of a challenge for me to always find a solution to a problem.

As I held my breath and begin to dissect my dog’s ‘business,’ the thunderous engine of a UPS truck came roaring down my road and I found myself in an awkward position. The driver hit the brakes and his delivery truck came to a screeching halt directly in front of my home.

‘Well, this is embarrassing,’ I thought to myself. How does one explain to a complete stranger the reason they are exploring their dog’s poop as if it was an 8th grade science experiment?

Two words: You don’t.

We made eye contact, I mumbled ‘Don’t ask,’ while he looked confused and grossed out all at the same time. He then dropped a package near where I sat.

Him: ‘There has to be a good explanation for this.’

Me: ‘Oh, there is. Our dog ate our money.’

I can still hear that driver laughing as he turned to walk away. I’m sure he had a great story to tell his family later that evening over dinner. Unfortunately, we were not able to recover the cash (seriously, why couldn’t Darby just eat a dog biscuit?) yet the story always makes me laugh.

What about YOU? What items has your dog eaten? Share in our Facebook comments!

~Deb